So sleepy!

I would not trade anything for last night, but I am more sleepy then I have ever been in my life. As you have guessed I'm not at my second job why you ask well thats because I'm running off of 2 hours of sleep right now and I know I need the money but I think my mental health and well being is a little more important then money. I might not be saying that later but for now I know its the right thing to do. I spend the best night ever sitting in my car with this person who has captured a great part of myself. I was up until 4 am talking and just enjoying the company of this wonderful person.

I have no idea where this will all go or what it means but I know I would not trade anything in the world for last night. It was more then fantastic! It was like a painting that will forever be engraved in my minds eye. I hope that this person wants to see me again I truly don't think that he would be that kind of person but all I know is I want to be in his presents again. I think that I am a little in over my head, but I like it! I say this because he is something wonderful and I have never been so overwhelmed before. I'm going to call my second job tonight a little later on to make sure I still go on Wednesday I hope that works out for the best but I will not know for sure until later.

I'm not sure what else to write at the moment, I am so sleepy I think I'm going to go lay down for a bit and hope not to fall asleep right away because I don't want to mess up my schedule to much. Any way I'm going to get going, will write more soon.

The last weekend of freedom

I start my second job tomorrow, who thought in my professional life that I would need a second job. Its not just about the money it helps but I really need something to distract me from the loneness in my life. I am just sick of being alone all the time at this point what a better way to avoid that then make ones self more busy then anything else. Tomorrow I don't even come home just from one job to another. I will not be home until after 10, come home sleep get up go to work. This will be my life for the next little while we will see how long I will be able to do this for before I go crazy but for now I'm going to give it a try and will see.

I am feeling really out of it these days and I'm not sure why or what I need to do to get things back on track I don't know what I even need. I know that working from 8am till 10pm with an hour break between does not sound like fun to me, when I know that hour will be spent in traffic! Hmmm the more I think about this it sounds like a stupid idea, I think I might start looking for a job that pays more! I think that might be a good idea any way I'm starting to have a hard time living where I live with whom I live due to work stuff. Its not working as well as I thought it would. We get alone fine and everything is great just the work stuff when that comes into play it makes this really hard!

Who knows will have to see what happens maybe I'll start looking around at whats out there and see what I can get somewhere else. I love my job but I just am not sure I can keep going on like this, its a little to much for me. Any way thats all for now I'll write more soon.

Enjoying a Extra Day!

Today is an extra day off and it is great! I'm enjoying one extra day to just be clam and at ease with myself. I have to call the place where I might be able to get a second job tomorrow. I hope that all works out. I'm ready to take it on, its going to be very hard at first but I know that i need this to get on better.

I need a winter jacket so bad! Its starting to get cold here and I am getting to the point where I really need something. I only have fleece jackets right now and they are not that warm. I had an old winter jacket but I can't seem to find the other piece to it and I believe my ex still has it and seems that person will not even give me back the things I hold dear to me I really don't think I'm going to be getting back that any time soon.

Life is going alright it could be better but as for everything we always want more out of everything. I think it might be human nature as society has pushed it to be as such. I have been thinking a lot about how much longer I want to be this province and I am having a hard time finding an answer to that. Who knows any more? Does not seem like I do. Just kind of sitting waiting for a sign. Any way I just wanted to add a little up date and give some joy to my day off and thats it really.

Wanted to update!

Well its been a while now and I thought I was due for an update. I had a good weekend pretty peaceful for the most part. I'm still thinking about what I should do with my life, things seem to be pretty crazy in my life and I just don't know what is up or down these days. Things are what they are and I'm starting to wonder what I should do more then ever now. On one hand I'm very happy on the other I feel like something is missing. I'm not feeling very well tonight! I have not been feeling all that great as a total whole these days. But thats alright I know its going to pass and I like to not think about it as I feel if you feed into the illness it might win.

I have been thinking about it a lot and I don't think moving anywhere is going to solve my money problems. Everything here is pretty cheep so I'm not total sure anything will help that but me making more money! Any way I think thats about all I have to say for now. Will write more some day soon!