when is enough, really enough?

Well it has truly been a while since I have updated, what is new? well ok we will get there, were have I been? I've been on vacation - road trip home seeing everyone, introducing my little man to a second cousin and hanging out well the Man had an interview. My little man is growing and growing he is climbing up on everything, starting to want to move around more and more on his feet, getting into everything and is slowly finding his own little world and a tiny bit of Independence. I can now leave him to play and do other things, its kind of nice. But when he thinks he is alone lord let the crying monster come on out. Regardless I love him more then words can even begin to say. He is my breath, my heart, my love, my all. This little man has taken my heart forever, he is so amazing!

The adult man not so much, tonight I am alone in my bed well the Man is down staires I think sleeping. woop give it up for fighting. Which beings me to my question at hand, when is enough truly enough? We had a big blow out because he can be a little insensitive, and I had it I was ready to pack me and the little man up and go, like more ready then I have ever been. In fact I had visions of tossing some hard large object at him taking my baby and never talking to him again. But then I thought that might not be such a great call. Well tonight yet again four things he said where on the NO NEVER AGAIN list and they in fact did come out of his month then he fucked up the little mans bed time schedule did a bunch of things wrong and to top it off the little man almost fell off the bed but I was there (thank god) to catch him! So now what I have told him that if things didn't change that was it I was done and we would be gone! Well after hmmm 5 short lived days guess what the ass is back. So now what? well tomorrow we have a little conversation and if it goes the way I think it will we will be back on working on getting him to understand how things need to work and if it goes bad then well I'm done and I think enough truly is enough and my little man and I will move on and life will be crazy and hard but who said I ever liked the easy road? Not me, for some reason I like to take the hard road and fight with everything I have to prove to myself that I can in fact do it!

Any way that is my up date things are shitty at home! I have a lovely little man that means the world to me and he is all that matters! So I will do whatever is best for us and at this point I'm thinking it might be best for us just to be us for a while, but we will see.

Now its bed time. night night