I hate it when I can't sleep

So tonight I can't sleep I have all of these thoughts in my head and am having a hard time falling asleep the little man passed out with no issue tonight didn't even need a snuggle just feel asleep, and The Man is off snoring away, making it even harder to fall asleep. I'm not sure why I get like this wait I do my OCD father. I try to not do stuff like he did but some times I check the locks a few times and if I hear something really odd I have a piece of wood that I grab and then go and see what is making that sound. All those nights of my dad with a gun looking around the house kind of made an impression on me. I get all these crazy thoughts and then can't sleep. To make it worse last night I woke up in tears because I had the worst headache I have ever had. Sucked! Especially because the little man didn't wake up at all last night and I could have gotten a great sleep. Maybe some day, I must say that I was not at all like this before but as soon as my son came I turned into a crazy person.

So what else is on my mind well I keep reading and hearing about scary things about the bad stuff we are doing to our world and I wonder what the hell is wrong with people like why are we not listening? Why are we still consuming as much, why are we still wasting, why are we killing our home? Like don't we want our kids and grand kids and all the people of the world past us and them to have a place to live? Don't we want to see people move on and forward? Since when did we get this standard thought of if its not in our time its no big deal why worry? Well I want to see my baby grow up and I want to see him have babies and I want to have a full great life but beyond that I want all the people in the world to have the same opportunity that I have, to age and live and go on to see there families age and live and I know my son will want the same for his kids and grand kids and so on. But where is civic responsibility? Where is pride in our world? As Sam Roberts says "Where have all the good people gone"? Its like people just don't care, do you know this year I have only seen about 5 bees, and all around my house so more then likely its the same bee but I have seen him 5 times. Maybe a few more but I remember when bees where everywhere, and not just bees but yellow jackets and other bugs, but for some reason I don't see them any more. Where have we gone so wrong? Is this really what industrialization brings us? Well maybe someone should have rethought that!

Any way that is my rant for the night about that. We have a vacation coming up but we are not sure what we will do yet. I was hoping to see my brother and have him meet my family but I'm sure if I will get to do that now. Blah! What else my little man has been a hand full lately he is getting into everything and we really need some gates, but like big gates! 7 foot gates! hard to find for a good price! I'm hoping I can get them soon so I don't have to be on him all the time and can start giving him and me a little bit more freedom. Ahh we will see any way I'm off for the night to hopefully catch some zzz's :) night night