I hate it when I can't sleep

So tonight I can't sleep I have all of these thoughts in my head and am having a hard time falling asleep the little man passed out with no issue tonight didn't even need a snuggle just feel asleep, and The Man is off snoring away, making it even harder to fall asleep. I'm not sure why I get like this wait I do my OCD father. I try to not do stuff like he did but some times I check the locks a few times and if I hear something really odd I have a piece of wood that I grab and then go and see what is making that sound. All those nights of my dad with a gun looking around the house kind of made an impression on me. I get all these crazy thoughts and then can't sleep. To make it worse last night I woke up in tears because I had the worst headache I have ever had. Sucked! Especially because the little man didn't wake up at all last night and I could have gotten a great sleep. Maybe some day, I must say that I was not at all like this before but as soon as my son came I turned into a crazy person.

So what else is on my mind well I keep reading and hearing about scary things about the bad stuff we are doing to our world and I wonder what the hell is wrong with people like why are we not listening? Why are we still consuming as much, why are we still wasting, why are we killing our home? Like don't we want our kids and grand kids and all the people of the world past us and them to have a place to live? Don't we want to see people move on and forward? Since when did we get this standard thought of if its not in our time its no big deal why worry? Well I want to see my baby grow up and I want to see him have babies and I want to have a full great life but beyond that I want all the people in the world to have the same opportunity that I have, to age and live and go on to see there families age and live and I know my son will want the same for his kids and grand kids and so on. But where is civic responsibility? Where is pride in our world? As Sam Roberts says "Where have all the good people gone"? Its like people just don't care, do you know this year I have only seen about 5 bees, and all around my house so more then likely its the same bee but I have seen him 5 times. Maybe a few more but I remember when bees where everywhere, and not just bees but yellow jackets and other bugs, but for some reason I don't see them any more. Where have we gone so wrong? Is this really what industrialization brings us? Well maybe someone should have rethought that!

Any way that is my rant for the night about that. We have a vacation coming up but we are not sure what we will do yet. I was hoping to see my brother and have him meet my family but I'm sure if I will get to do that now. Blah! What else my little man has been a hand full lately he is getting into everything and we really need some gates, but like big gates! 7 foot gates! hard to find for a good price! I'm hoping I can get them soon so I don't have to be on him all the time and can start giving him and me a little bit more freedom. Ahh we will see any way I'm off for the night to hopefully catch some zzz's :) night night

So little time!

Well I have been busy walking, meeting with other moms and babies and teaching my little man to eat table foods woop! Its been a pretty fun summer so far and I hope it gets even better!!! I had a phone interview yesterday for a job that I think I would love it would be working with youth and getting them interested in volunteering. I would get to make presentations and talk to people all the time which for any one who knows me is totally me! I would LOVE doing this. But we will see The Man has been getting a lot of interviews out of the city which is great but also if I get this job would suck balls! Oh well you never know I guess we will see!

What else my little man is crawling, not traditional crawling but his version and he gets around just fine, he is fast! If he was "normal" crawling I can't imagine how I would keep tabs on him. He loves to try whatever we are eating and if he can't he gets so up set. I need to start getting some more baby friendly food in the house. He loves oranges and water, silly guy. But he is also not wanting to eat some things which is hard! But I'm hoping that will change.

We are going to look at a car tonight that we have seen once now and have made an offer on, but we are going to take a more detailed look at the car and just make sure that its going to work for us its not insured so we can't really get it to a shop to have it looked at but I think its in good shape plus its a great price so we are going to lift it up look under it and check a few things and then if The Man says yes it will be ours. My first ours car! crazy! Its a cute little sporty mazda and its black! wooh We will see what tonight brings.

Any way I have some stuff to do before my love gets up from his nap. Have a lovely day!!

Thank god for a fast mommy!

So my little man is totally on the move he is rolling a bunch and starting to crawl and its just so fast its crazy and he is quick like super quick so he was on a change table and started to roll and fell but guess who caught him just in time? Me! Lord! I was just freaking out but thank god he is ok. What the hell? ahhh oh well he is ok and all is well I think he was a little shaken up cause he cried but was alright in no time and is now sleeping poor guy so sleepy. I got him a curtain rod today to hang some curtain's cause its so light in his room and he has been having a hard time sleeping.

We are on a search for a new to us car and the search isn't going so well hopefully we get some luck soon cause bula is on her last legs here, she needs to retire, big time. We can't really go any where until we have a new car and I would like to see my brother this summer but who knows. It sure would be nice if someone came to use to visit besides the inlaws. No one from my family has been here and it pisses me off a little bit. Oh wait my mom has been here for like a minute but thats it and I'm so unimpressed with all of them right now. I wish I was a bit more important to come see. Things not to do to my son when he is older. err any way that was a vent moment. I should get going to make the little man lunch.