Friday, November 18, 2011

A joyful and breaking heart all at the same time

First I feel so blessed in my life to have the most amazing little man ever he is smart, cute, silly and just the best thing in the world. I love him more then anything in this world and tomorrow he is one! One year ago today I sat in a hospital waiting for him to come, I was all alone because the Man didn't spend a lot of time with me there. I can't believe how fast time has gone by and that tomorrow he will be one year old! What a year its been he is so amazing and how he has changed is just wow! Joyful heart of mine I love him so I am so thankful for him and the gifts he brings me every day.

Now to address the heart break... the man cheated on me, on November 4 he went away for some job thing and because I didn't go he thought it would be a good call to post on craigslist looking for sex and then he met someone and did the unthinkable in my mind, he had sex with her. On November 7th I found out about it and life will never be the same. We will be going to court on Monday to see who gets the right to raise our son. I don't have much doubt that I will because I am an amazing mom and I will do right by that boy!

I can't believe he is tossing this all away I even asked if he would be willing to do some things so we could work on stuff, who the fuck does that? And he will not do anything. I think I am just so hurt by all of this I feel empty and sad. But I know my future will be bright because I will have the most important person in the world in my life. My son! Whom I love if you didn't notice :P

I just wish the man wanted to fight for me but really what makes me think he would he slept with someone else! I hate that he has done this to us, and I really hate him for all of this. More then anything though I think I'm just really sad. I wanted a life that now I'm not sure I will find. Maybe I will but now I'm a package deal and have a ton of baggage so its going to be a hard go at life for the next little while.

Wish me luck, hopefully will up date soon.

No comments: