Wow!

I think god heard me... I am both amazed and shocked by what happened today... something clicked and I felt like for the first time the man got it and he really said something that will stick with me forever. It made me cry soo hard because I never thought he would get it and then it just happened and it was like something in me released some of this anger. I think we might be ok and this is the first time where in my soul I have felt that. That this might all be ok and we will get through this stronger and better then before and that my friends is simply amazing to think about.

So on with the book... I have started in on the healing stuff and now that I think today happened I might be able to really connect with it. I really hope that this is the start I can't think about going back from here but it has happened a few times where I feel really good about stuff and then he just fucks up again. But I think its different because a small weight has been lifted off of me and let me know that he really knows the damage that happened and that it was so wrong.

So where to from here. Well we might move... that would be a start to a new life for sure I have a little network here of mommy friends and all that jazz so that would be sad but I do think its time to leave this city. I was just hoping we would be moving west, not north! boo to that. I want to go west the winds are calling me home and I just want to be closer to everyone and everything that I love.

Any way I just would like to thank the lord for hearing my cry for help. I'm really not the religious type but I truly feel like I was heard and got what I needed today!