Toy Box and Sushi

The toy box has been finished!!! It looks great and I am totally happy with it. I also made sushi for the first time ever and I must day it turned out amazing!


The finished product complete with soft top for a cousion seat. :)

Box open


Sushi :) YUM!
And that is really all I have to say for the night I just wanted to update and show off my stuff.

Just tired

Well it is late and for some reason I don't really feel like sleeping but I am tired. My little man is down for the night, well at lest 6 hours and the Man wont be home for another hour. I was going to make a pillow for the little man's new toy box but I'm not sure if I want to make it the way I was going to I think it might not work well so now I need to think about it a little bit. You see I am making something like a body pillow to go on the wall because I couldn't make a bench. So the pillow will act as a pho bench piece. I thought it was rather smart but now I am stuck on one part.

I was thinking of using a thick foam piece and then some soft pillow stuffing but I think if I put the soft stuffing in front of the thick foam that eventually the soft foam will all go to one side for the pillow and it will look silly... need to think a bit more about this one and if I just want to make a cylinder pillow that is all soft, I think that might work better. The toy box is almost totally done I just need to buy the hings and then put the top on and it will be finished. How exciting!!! Then I can get the ugly white bin out of my living room and have a love little toy box. :) Not that he is interested in toys at all but at lest I wont have to look at the ugly bin any more :)

I will post a picture of the finished product once its done. What else, well it was lovely and warm for the past few days and we got out and went for walks and enjoyed the sun and it was great but winter has decided to give us what for again and it is presently snowing and -5 going to be -18 by morning, boo! Then for the next few days cold cold cold again, it sucks cause then we get stuck inside. Oh and we have a snow fall warning now, fun times! Oh well at lest its not New York or Boston I feel so bad for them 19 inches in NY and 30 inches in B town... Freaken 30 inches thats nuts, that is way to much snow in 24 hours! poor people.

Any way I should get going.... good night

Update time

Well the man didn't end up going back out of town he told the people that it was to much with a new baby. I wish he would have just taken then job and trusted that it would all work out because I think he really wanted the opportunity but he didn't and he asked them if he could start in a month or so once the little man is more into a schedule and it is easier to get him sleeping and stuff at night. But I think its going to take a bit more then a month. Its been two months to get him to sleep at 11pm for 6 hours. So now what? Well I think he is mad at me because I'm the one who couldn't handle taking care of the little man. It seems like all we do is get mad at each other these days, its so hard with all the changes I think its just so much.

Now he is starting to look again, there is one place he would like to work a bit closer to my family which I would like but who knows whats going to happen. All I know is we need to get better at treating eachother nicer. Because other wise I'm not sure whats going to happen I think if we keep on this path within a year I'm going to be a single parent because I will not want to be so unhappy any more. I don't want that but its really hard. He says he is just chronically tried and thats not helping his mood but he sleeps as much as I do. Maybe he is depressed and just don't know it. But I don't know what to do any more there is so much to do and I need his help and support. Just as much as he needs sleep. He also needs to spend more time with his son. I told him that and he said "I just spent a half hour with him". Umm ok wooo a half hour yeppie sickpy! I spend every waking moment with him, he knows me he loves me, he knows I will make him happy and take care of him when he is sad. The worse part is he will start crying and I will take him from dad and he will stop. That shouldn't happen daddy should be able to calm him down.

Any way I really did just need to bitch, he is a good dad he just needs to spend some more time with his son and try to not be so cranky with me. He just drives me so crazy and its not making me feel very nice lately. Any way I should work on getting some things done well the little man is sleeping. I have a toy box to finish for him.

Here we go again

So the Man came home on Thursday and it didn`t go so great I still didn`t get a lot of sleep but then over the past two days I have gotten to sleep a good amount. But he leaves again tomorrow this time only for three days then is back again and works and we will see if he is going to keep doing this. I am firmly not in favour of this continuing but we will see what happens. I think he knows that its not a good idea but wants to see how it goes. They way I have heard him talking to his parents it sounds like he doesn`t think its the right time to take a role like the one that he has been testing out.

Any way the little man slept for 6 hours straight last night! Then 5 and another 5 before he was up and moving around. Now we just need to work on getting him to sleep for 8 hours and then another 5 and maybe some day soon 12 hours straight.

Any way wish me luck over the next few days and I should get going.

So exhusted

I'm totally exhausted today and just want to go to bed but I have a feeling my little man is going to wake up in an hour so I don't think I should go to bed because I will be super cranky getting woken up that quickly. This has been a long few days but the Man comes home tonight!!! WOOP so happy I'm not sure how tonight will go if I will get the bullshit I worked and drove comment but he can tend to the little one tonight cause I need a break!

Speaking of the little one I can now let him sleep through the night so if he is not up soon I might relocate us in the bed room cause I'm super sleepy. I think he might be waking now but we will see hes been sleeping for a few hours already. I guess they just worry about them until they reach 15 pounds and well he is now 16 so wooh to that. My little man is getting so big so fast.

Any who I'm out for now.

I hate this part!

Well I`ve been alone with the little man now for three days and have two more to go and I am exhausted! I haven`t had a break and I feel like I might pull my hair out. The Man is away right now trying something out and I`m alone doing everything and its fucking hard and I hate it. He and I have to have a very real conversation about this because I can`t do this again its way to much and with no break not even a little one its way overwhelming.

Today he has been especially fussy and I feel like I want to go for a long walk off a short cliff. I need help I need the Man, I have no idea how mothers do this on there own. The shitty part, oh yes it does get worse, is he comes back only to work for three days and then I think he is leaving again. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ....FUCK So not only am I doing this now but even when he is back still no real break. I want to go way for 5 days well he does everything and see how happy he is. This is bull shit and not something I signed up for!

Okay so he is having a hard time sleeping right now so I need to get going. One exciting thing tho is I`m writting this well laying on my tummy! I haven`t done this since before I was with child and I totally missed it. Any way I need to go.

I`m so burnt out :(

Boo!!

So it looks like next week I'm going to be acting like a single parent! Not happy at all. The Man is testing out a job in another city and will be gone Monday to Thursday, gross! Not only that but he is working today and until Sunday, so we will only have the time when he is here to get stuff done because my little man likes to take up a lot of my time! Not fun! I need someone to come and help us out for a few days, any takers?

I have three baskets of laundry to put away and about four more baskets to do. Bottles to make, dishes to do, house to clean and the only thing that does get done is baby taken care of. Although I guess right now I could be cleaning or something but I really wanted to up date. I'm so not happy about the Man leaving it really is going to make life hard for some time. Plus I have appointments to go to and things to do and now I have to take the little man with me which means everything will take more time to get done. lord boo!

Any way I just needed to vent now its off to get some things done.

Update Update :)

So we went to weight the little man the other day and he is 14 and 1/2 pounds! Crazy, I saw a 4 month old that was half his size today! Lord I'm going to have one big little guy. Today I got an email from some who I thought was my best friend. Last year she told me I was the most negative person she knew and that we no longer could be friends because I was a bad influence one her and her family. I laughed a lot because I do for sure have negative moments but I am pretty full of joy for the most part. Lately I'm super cranky because of the lack of sleep and a bit more negative then usual but as a general whole I'm super happy :)

Any way I was a little shocked by it and said my peace to her but I really wanted to tare her a new one and just tell her off because I was truly hurt by what happened. I am interested to see if she writes back knowing her she will and it may be rude but I'm ready for that.

The little man is super sleepy hungry and sleepy, I think he is having a growth thing happening because he is eating a lot and sleeping a lot. He doesn't like being on his back right now for some reason so I have him on his side. He is doing well and is super happy for the most part but has gassy moments and some really bad days. But I still think he is perfect and love him more and more every day!

Any way I should get going I have some things I need to try and do before he wakes up