Road to Recovery

Well everyone in my house is starting to feel better which is great the little man is having a nap right now and is breathing through his nose!! Woop I feel better and the Man feels better. So scary news the Man finds out tomorrow if he is going to be laid off for how long who knows but that will kind suck for him. As well as for us cause of all the whole money tight thing. The little man is trying to sit on his own its pretty cute he gets up right and is all proud of himself then tips over and gets this confused look on his face too cute :)

I applied for a job yesterday it would be a great job and I would really like it a lot it kind of combines my world of policy and procedures and social work which I think would be ideal I would still work on implementing change and get to counsellor again! There is another one that I am really interested in and might apply for today. I`m not ready at all to go back to work because I love spending time with my little man but these kinds of jobs do not come up often and some time at all so I am going to risk it and see what happens. I miss work alot some times but I would miss the little man more! We will see. I might start looking to build a home business with little ones and music therapy. Something I love a lot and it seems to be something people really enjoy doing. Plus I could charge a fraction of the cost that some of the other places do and give them better services. But we will see.

What else, well the weather is suppose to go from sunny and lovely to rain and possible snow! LORD I say no more snow its almost May. I got my passport application in woop! I should be on my way out of the country in a month! I have a few sight seeing things I would like to do. Any way the little man is being super needy right now so I should go.

Gah!

So I am still totally sick only now I can't breath and I have the hack of a cough which feels like my lungs are going to come out with it. You this is the first time I've been sick since being with child and it sucks! Also its the first time I have had a cough like this and not been a smoker. I remember when I smoked I would get this wicked cough that felt like I was going to die from it and it was just gross but that was because I was a smoker. This cough well it is a little like that only it hurts way more. I don't remember what coughs where like before I smoked it was so long ago but I don't recall them like this. Lord! I sound like I smoke, gross.

Which buy the way lets write about I have been a non smoker for over a year now! Go me go! I must say there are times where I still get cravings how crazy is that? But then I smell someone who is a smoker and I remember all the money I wasted and I think now that would be stupid to start again. Plus I have a family that I need to be here for. Its bad enough that I might have cervical cancer I don't need anything else thank you (we will get the cancer part in a moment). I smoked for 11 years! Lord what a long time to damage your body! Things I miss: controlling my craving for food, weight loss, the social factor but thats going out of style, being ID'ed now I know thats silly but I don't really drink so I don't really get ID'ed any more. I think thats about it though.

okay the big C word... so about two years ago I was told I had an abnormal pap, ok what does that mean? Well it means its not normal and rather then waiting a year to have one you have to do it in 6 months. Okay why? no one can really tell you, it could mean a lot of things... great so 6 months later I get one and the doctor fails to call and tell me its abnormal again and 3 months later I am with child so they leave it alone and say after the baby comes we will do it again. So at my 6 week check up I ask to have it done they recommend waiting... ok why well because it might read wrong so wait another month then guess what abnormal again so they set me up with an appointment for a Colposcopy which is not until JULY. bah fun times so I might have cancer and it might be getting worse and they could do something about but not until July. Thanks medical system you can kiss my ass, that said July is closer now then it was when they told me about the appointment. Any way that is that and I hope that it is just something small not the big C I really would like to have another baby some day.

What else well I'm still sick haha I really would like to feel better. I think my whole family would like to feel better as we are all sick boo! Any way thats all for now I'm going to try and rest before they all get up!

Our First cold

Well my little man is 5 months old and my whole house is sick. It started with me feeling the worst and slowly lead to him getting sicker and sicker. Last night was just bad he was to hot and coughing and so sick it was just not any fun at all plus with me feeling sick it makes it ten times worse cause I need to rest and feel better but I can't unless he is. He is sleeping now which is good cause he needs all the rest he can get right now to feel better. I hope this doesn't last to long.

I wish I could breath, this sucks. I hate being sick. It sounds like he can breath a bit better. That's good! Any way I'm going to go and try and eat well he is down.

I need a vacation!

So I am just really done and totally need a break. Between the baby and the Man I think i just am about ready to go nuts! I'm applying for a passport and I think I'm going to try and save some funds to go over seas for a few days. There are a few things I want to see. I'm working on getting mine first and then will get the little mans so that we can go somewhere together as well.

My back is still bad, its been really bad in the last few nights. So I did some research and this is really common for women who had an epidural during labour. You can have back pain and muscle spasms for month or years after it depends on the person. Awesome. So it looks like I have to live with this for a while. Its exhausting! Yet another reason I would like to have a vacation so I can rest like really rest.

Hmm what else? The Mans parents where here for a day and a half and spoiled the little man! They are so great to him. Sometimes tho I wish they wouldn't move my stuff. Like this is not your house please don't mess with my stuff. That really upsets me! But I'm back to normal life now which is nice. We got a red wagon for the little man we don't have the place to store it so they took it with them back home. Any way the boys are napping and I think I need to lay down. Will up date soon!

Night time tears

So I had this bed time thing down to a great regular thing he would go in his crib and fuss just a little but then fall a sleep. So I think in my side switch that the Man must have been giving him the soother because tonight he is freaken out. As we speak he is so mad crying like crazy, he hasn`t done this in a month and all the sudden he is crying. I think the Man must have been giving him something because this is the worst it has been in a while. I do not want to let him think this is ok so I am trying very hard to let him cry. But I can hear him from here freaking out. This sucks! He is a super cry baby lately every time I leave the room right now he freaks. Sucks!
ok totally freak out got to go check on him.

Gosh that was bad he was so upset that his body was so hot it was wet. I have only ever had that twice before, first time he was in the car and so hungry he was freaking out and all I could do was drive to get home to feed him. Second was on the way home, he wasn`t that bad but it was close. That is the worse so I did the one thing you are no suppose to do, I picked him up and rocked him to sleep. I snuggled him and kissed him and told him it was ok. If it wasn`t as bad I wouldn`t have done that but this was totally bad he was having a melt down!

Any way today with the little girl was good, she didn`t really freak out at all. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a whole different story but we will see. Here is hoping it goes as well as it did today. There where a few things that totally concerned me and if that doesn`t improve over time it is to much of a risk factor for my son. Like she doesn`t really get that she could hurt him or that he is so small and just wants to see who she is. She almost hit him, that would have been bad cause I more then likely would have told her mom that it wasn`t going to work out. She also does get that he needs play space too and thinks things are funny and a joke. Like he was on his play mat and she just walked up almost over him and just wasn`t regarding him at all. That scared me. So we will see how tomorrow goes, I think with time it would get better but I`m not sure I want to put him in that situation. We will see.

What else? Well the in-laws will be here on Sunday. Woop! That means mommy gets a break! Thank the kind lord! I have been going a bit nutty lately and feeling like I need a vacation so this will be a good break. I need to go get my pastport photo at some point on Saturday. I want to go to the states with the Mans mom in June. I think my little man and I will go out there, cause his dad is planning on going across Canada. I totally encourage this but I think he could have better timing! Like oh I don't know before he had a kid? I really hate sometimes how his life hasn't really changed at all he still does whatever he wants, thinks for himself and seems to forget he has a family now but whatever I guess. I just want a hand well he is gone. Maybe my sister could come here HINT HINT.

I was looking for work for the Man in the east today. I was thinking about it and I'm not so sure any more why I'm so sent on going back west. Really my parents could give two shits about me or my life and I hardly see my sister and I never see my brother so why go west? Why not embark on a new journey in life? Why not? I couldn't really find anything but I think I'm going to talk to him about. I love the east, its so beautiful there and the Ocean and the people and I think it would be great. Plus I think his parents would like to go back and maybe retire there and I want them to be close to the little man, they are so good to him I want to make sure they are in his life as much as possible!

Any way I should get going its getting late. Not that I think I will be able to sleep but I might as well try. Night all.

Well it was a little better

So last night I slept on my old bed which had been sitting out on our deck for the last 7 months. I didn't wake up at 2 am, or 3 or even 4 I slept through the night! I'm up way to early but I'm not really all that sleepy right now for some reason maybe its because its the first time in WEEKS that I have slept from 10pm until 6am. Freaken awesome. The bad news my back totally woke me up at 6 and I had to really pee lol but I think my back was part of it. The great news I feel refreshed! Amazing, although I am beginning to get a bit sleepy again just now. Maybe I'll have a nap on the sofa.

It snowed here. Like really snowed 15cm, its April 14, Snow? Blah! Today I have a little girl coming over to hang out with us her mom is having a hard time finding child care so I thought why not give it a try. And she will be here at 12 until 3:15 she is at the don't leave me stage which is never fun and I'm not totally happy about the amount of crying that might happen but we will get through it and I have a feeling Friday will be worse because she will be awake for a lot of it! lol but I have TV and all kinds of things we can do maybe if Nicholas goes to sleep we will make cookies. We will see. I am a little scared to see what life will be like with a toddler and a baby but bring it on!

Any way I'm going to try and sleep another hour I think.

Alomst 3 am

You know I thought when I had a baby that the only reason I would wake up in the middle of the night was because someone was hungry well I have been mistaken. For the past oh lets see maybe 3 or 4 weeks I have gotten up consistantly at 2am, why because of my body in pain. Not because of my little man he sleeps oh 10 hours on average a night. So tonight I have had the most stupid time sleeping first the Man snored and snored and I tossed and turned, then my neck started hurting, then my back and my ribs so now I'm totally awake at 3am and can't freaken sleep. Wonderful. SUCKS why because I have a lovely sleeping little man well that means he is awake most of the day and even tho the Man has the day off tomorrow I still take care of the little man the most. So I have to do it on little sleep and the sleep that I did get Sucked balls!

On a high note we went swimming again which he loved again, then when the Man got off work we went to the park for another swing, oh he had his first swing (loved it, laughed like crazy the whole time). The dog got to come with us and go for a run, I'm sure she was pretty happy. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend in the park to go for a walk, not a long one cause I'm pretty bent out of shape but a walk, then to mommy and me and then I am going to work on my demo of the bathroom tiles and then chiro woop fun times had by all.

Thats right I decided that I hated our bathroom counter top and tiles so I talked to the Man asked him a number of times if he was ok with me taking it out and replacing it. Totally an easy job, unless you have a little person that requires all your attention then much harder! So I've almost got all the tiles out, but my biggest problem, ok there are two, my two biggest problems. One the jackass who owned this place was NOT handy and all and he instulled the present fixtures so they where put on piss poor which is distoring the drywall so not only do I have to demo now but I have to retouch the drywall and hope that it takes, run times. Problem two we don't have a new countertop yet, I think we should just pick on up at home depot or whatever and the Man thinks we should order one custom. There is a 100 - 150 dollar diferance in ordering one custom and it will take 3 weeks to get here. I would like to finish this job before his parents get here (This sunday). Which will not happen if we do that. But is totally possible if I take tomorrow to finish the demo, fix the drywall and then on Wend instull the new top and put nice pretty new tile back on the wall. Totally doable. But in the land that my lovely Man lives in things take for fucking ever! So I think I'm going to make him come pick out on at home depot so I can finsh the job and have a totally functional bathroom agian.

Any way I think I might be getting sleepy so I'm going to try to sleep on the sofa. Wish me luck, god I hate how shitty my body feels!

Its Alive!!!!!!

So I posted a while back about my poor Bula kicking the bucket well it turns out that my lovely Man just hit something he shouldn't have. I decided to download a owners manual just because I was wondering what the problem might be because she was running fine the other week.

So quick back story... the car died just after they were working on replacing the lights in the back of the car.

So I'm reading the manual and for some reason am about to give up when I come across this thing about a switch for the fuel pump, which is located in the trunk right by the lights that they fixed... hmmm gets me thinking what if they hit this and it turned the pump off. So this morning I go to look at it, push the button and try to start the car, and guess what? It starts!!! HAHAHAHAH

I come in and say "I fixed the car, you turned the fuel pump off" and he was all like yeah right so I showed him the thing I read and then then said go start it. But he said he believed me. I knew Bula was to strong to give up just like that. Wooop to a working car! We are still going to try and find a new car for the family but it isn't such a rush!

First food

So my little man totally slowed down on his eating for the last three weeks he was eating about 5 bottles a day which I thought was great but over the past four days he has been eating more and more again and yesterday 8 bottles. Which in my thought was way to much for a 4 and a half month old! So The Nurse at the health center said as long as he was happy with the 5 bottles and still sleeping his normal amount at night (which by the way is 10 hours a night with out waking up) that he is fine. So When he sky rocked in his bottles it made me think, plus he has been super interested in food with us he always watches us eat and opens his month and stuff so I thought ok he is trying to tell me something. I`m ready!

So I made 5 table spoons of rice cereal and I think he ate almost 3/4 of the amount and 50ml of milk, which I think is pretty good. If for some reason he is hungry again in like an hour I might wonder what the hell is wrong with him but if he goes for a bit that will be the answer he was totally ready for food. So I have no idea what I am doing really when it comes to food but we will do the cereal for three days and see how his little body handles it and then I was thinking of letting him try some home made baby food. Chicken, and then some veggies :) I'm excited for him! I think he will really like this! He did so great with eating at first he was like what the heck are you putting in my month... but then as soon as he got it, it was like he had always been eating. Just like the rolling thing once he got it twice now he does it all the time and loves that he can move.

My baby is growing up :) By the way have I told you lately how much I love him! You never really get it until you have one but it is a whole other world with him and he is the love of my life, he is just so sweet and cute and thinks I`m the funnest person ever (which is great) and I just love him so much. I am so excited to watch him learn and grow and become the amazing little person I know he will be. So great. I think I would have a whole team of children if I could just because I think this is one of the most rewarding parts of my life! Thank you to the Man for helping me make such a wonderful little man best thing ever!

OOOOO I have a rolling baby

So he did it backwards but that doesn't matter he did it! He rolled from front to back!!! today three time. Woop my little learner. I'm such a proud mother!

April 2nd and SNOW

Okay so I'm not sure who ordered the weather but man this has been the longest winter ever! The little man is sleeping and I could use a nap as well because I am not sleeping well these days. My body is just in so much pain most of the time that I just toss and turn all the time and can't seem to sleep through the night.

The Man's mom will be here tomorrow she was meant to go on a flight today but it was cancelled and will be in tomorrow for a night, have some time with the grandbaby and the off the following day. But then in 2 weeks they will be back to spend some more time with the little man.

We are starting some more classes this coming week on Tuesday I hope this time we get to finish them and I can meet some new people with little lovely ones also. But who knows if I will have a car in time. The man wants to hold off for a little while on buying something... but we are going to look at a suv I saw the other day and totally fell in love with! I have to call them and see if we can go look at it again today although with all the snow I don't really want to drive all the way out there.

Any way the little man is just waking up so I should get going.