Gah!

So I am still totally sick only now I can't breath and I have the hack of a cough which feels like my lungs are going to come out with it. You this is the first time I've been sick since being with child and it sucks! Also its the first time I have had a cough like this and not been a smoker. I remember when I smoked I would get this wicked cough that felt like I was going to die from it and it was just gross but that was because I was a smoker. This cough well it is a little like that only it hurts way more. I don't remember what coughs where like before I smoked it was so long ago but I don't recall them like this. Lord! I sound like I smoke, gross.

Which buy the way lets write about I have been a non smoker for over a year now! Go me go! I must say there are times where I still get cravings how crazy is that? But then I smell someone who is a smoker and I remember all the money I wasted and I think now that would be stupid to start again. Plus I have a family that I need to be here for. Its bad enough that I might have cervical cancer I don't need anything else thank you (we will get the cancer part in a moment). I smoked for 11 years! Lord what a long time to damage your body! Things I miss: controlling my craving for food, weight loss, the social factor but thats going out of style, being ID'ed now I know thats silly but I don't really drink so I don't really get ID'ed any more. I think thats about it though.

okay the big C word... so about two years ago I was told I had an abnormal pap, ok what does that mean? Well it means its not normal and rather then waiting a year to have one you have to do it in 6 months. Okay why? no one can really tell you, it could mean a lot of things... great so 6 months later I get one and the doctor fails to call and tell me its abnormal again and 3 months later I am with child so they leave it alone and say after the baby comes we will do it again. So at my 6 week check up I ask to have it done they recommend waiting... ok why well because it might read wrong so wait another month then guess what abnormal again so they set me up with an appointment for a Colposcopy which is not until JULY. bah fun times so I might have cancer and it might be getting worse and they could do something about but not until July. Thanks medical system you can kiss my ass, that said July is closer now then it was when they told me about the appointment. Any way that is that and I hope that it is just something small not the big C I really would like to have another baby some day.

What else well I'm still sick haha I really would like to feel better. I think my whole family would like to feel better as we are all sick boo! Any way thats all for now I'm going to try and rest before they all get up!