Birthday!!!!

To the most wonderful, outstanding, lovely and amazing sister every.... April :)

Happy Birthday!!!!


I love you so much and you are fanstastic!!!

Twas the night before Christmas

All through the house... This is my little mans first Christmas and I don't think he is to excited as he doesn't really know what is going on. So here is the question ... do I tell my son about Santa and let him believe to only find out he is not real OR do I tell him about the real Santa and the spirit of him and the truth?? I'm thinking the truth. But I'm not sure many people will like that. Like the Mans mom was all what is Santa going to bring you? Well Santa did get him a few things but still its the spirit of Santa but mom bought it and I think its better to be honest with him. hmmm not sure.

What else? I'm looking at flights to maybe go home cause my trip didn't work out. I miss my family! blah any way I'm going to get going the little man might wake up soon to eat. Merry Christmas eve :)

Growing more!

Today we went to weight our little man and he is weighing in at 13 pounds even! And height is 24 inch :) woop The only crappy thing is that he is getting hard to carry in that stupid seat! Like super hard! We have been walking almost every night of the week for at lest an hour, in the mall... stupid mall but I like getting out and I need the exercise. I'm going to start going to the gym soon once I can figure out a good time to go. Maybe 11 -12 or something like that. Who knows

What else? I'm still pissed about not making it home it sucks balls! I starting to think more and more that someone in my family is totally crazy and just about the biggest liar I have ever met. So frustrating!

Any who I'm going to get going my little man is being fussy and wants some attention.

Boo!

I hate winter! Because of stupid winter I didn't get to go home we got about an hour out and the weather turned to shit. I cried for almost half way back because I was so upset that we where turning around to come home. I really wanted to go to see my family...well mainly my sister. But still it sucked ass The Man had to drive because I was such a mess. SUCKED and SUCKS still!

So I sent all the presents home yesterday and they should be there by Thursday at the latest but more then likely sooner. So what am I doing? Nothing really being sad a little because I really wanted to be home. Taking care of my little man and my main man. Thinking about cooking a turkey for Christmas but its hard to do this with the baby because he likes attention during the day and if he doesn't have enough he cries! lol

I'm thinking of making a trip to the mall to day and do some shopping for me but we will see at present I'm feeling a little bit lazy and just want to stay in my pj's but I might get motivated to get out.

Oh and my little man has the such dry skin it is so bad he flakes all over the place when I take his clothing off and his head is covered in dry skin and I'm worried that will turn into cradle cap. No body wants that! So what do I do, how can I put lotion on his head and in his hair, gross! I know they say it will go away but its not the same its just dry skin. Any ideas would be great.

Any way its early and everyone is still sleeping so I think I might make some breakfast and wake them up :)

I`m coming home

Or hopefully if the roads are ok we are going to be going. I really want to introduce my little one to everyone well he is little. The plan is to leave Saturday night at around 7pm travel part way (less people on the road!). Stay the night in a hotel and then travel the rest of the way. Hopefully we will be able to go through the short way because it saves us about 4 hours but what ever is the safest we will go. Then we have to hope all goes well and we can get home so the Man can get to work.

My little man is super cranky lately I think he has bad gas some times but at lest he is sleeping through most of the night. I think our trip might mess things up for him for a little bit but hopefully he doesn`t notice :)

I am a little afraid of how far we have to go but I`m sure it will be fine. Its such a long drive and there really is nothing through some of it. 3 hours of nothing which is a little scary in the winter with a baby and a little dog and of course me who has issues with the cold. So lets hope it all goes well and that we can get there and back. Any way thats all for now tomorrow a shopping trip and packing are in order then Saturday a party :) woop

Can't wait for warmer weather!

So there are a few things I hate about the winter. The number one item is that I can't spend any time out side in the winter because I have a problem with the cold. I can't walk outside and I really need to walk a bit more to get my legs back in shape and help trim my tummy back down (even though I am already in all my per prego clothing).

What is the alternative to walking outside? Going to a mall and walking there. That sucks ass might I add because there are a million jerks in the mall that could care less if I have a baby with me or that are rude and I just hate the mall its to much! To many people, to much noise, to many lights, and blah its just bad there but its the only place I can go for a good walk.

So last night I went to one of the big new malls and the other thing I now hate is creepy people! This lady "bumped" into me three times to say how cute my baby was and tried to touch him. Err keep your hands away from my baby. And another person worked at on of the vendors in the middle of the mall grabbed the stroller and pulled it towards his booth and I tore him a new ass whole. I yelled at him and told him he needed some common manners and that in Canada you don't just grab peoples strollers to pull them over to try and sell them shit and if he touched it again I would consider it self defence to punch him out. He looked scared after that and he should have been. Never doubt a mother! I would have fucked him up!

Any way that is all for now my little man is upset so time to go.

Mt little butter ball

He is a big as a turkey at thanksgiving or chirstmas! 11lbs 9oz and growing! We went to see everyone at work today and he made all the ladies fall in love with him. Even the not so nice accounting guy thought he was cute and had a big grin on his face when I showed him off.

I gave him a pho-hawk today it was totally cute but his hat messed it up :P Better that he is warm then looking all fly! Its been really nice here lately and it looks like we only have one day of cold weather this week which is nice.

Any way the Man needs some help so I should get going. I just wanted to update and let the world know that I have a butter ball and I love him more then anything in this world!

Weight gain

So today I took my little man to weight him today just to see how he was doing and he gained almost a pound he is now 11lbs 1.9 oz getting bigger and bigger already I know time is going to fly and he will grow so fast. He is already lifting his head really well. He isn't catching finger movement with his eyes yet but he is looking around more and more. He doesn't like the sun shining in the car when he is trying to sleep and he likes being held when he has gas.

He is just so amazing and I am so in love with him it is not even funny he is just so perfect. What else? I have to finish up Christmas stuff soon and I am going to take my little man into work to meet all the ladies. :) He is going to be a lady killer I can feel it plus with his parents amazing good looks its hard not to attract all that attention ... hehe

Any who I just wanted to up date about him gaining weight, we have an appointment next week to see how he is doing I will up date again soon.

2 weeks tomorrow

Well my little boy is 2 weeks old tomorrow and I am feeling better and better as the days go by which is fantastic and I can't wait to feel totally better. He is sleeping more and more over the night which is good and I look forward to him being more awake so we can do stuff together like more tummy time or play or anything really other then watch him sleep :P

I'm super sleepy lately last night I slept through a feeding which is totally crazy. I feel like I have a million more times energy then when I was with child which is nice but at the same time when I'm sleepy I am exhausted and have a hard time functioning.

I think I'm going to try and decorate for Christmas this weekend at least get the tree up so it can be ready to be decorated and finish up the stockings that I made. Any who I need a nap so I`m going top head before my little man`s next feeding :)

Belly Button

Today Mr. Nicholas lost his umbilical cord and he officially has a belly button! 12 days old and already things are changing so fast. He is keeping us awake at night and sleeping all day. I have so much to get done that I feel like I can`t sleep when he is but I really need to start sleeping when he is because I`m not doing so hot on the energy front.

Oh so something amazing!!! I have been wearing stretchy pants for the past 5 months because all my pants stopped fitting, it sucked balls. But today for kicks I wanted to try on my jeans just to see how far I needed to go in order to get back into them. Guess what??? They FIT!!!!! HAHAHAh I had a baby and lost a tone of weight and can wear my jeans again. I haven`t had jeans on for months and months and they went on no problem! How amazing and fantastic. They are a little tight but not to bad at all.

My body still hurts a lot at moments but its getting better. Next week I`m going to plan to drop into work to show off my little man :) I just have to call and let them know. It will be our first out and about of the house. We have been out just he has waited in the car with me or the man cause I`m really not wanting to get my little man exposed to too much. But I think we are ready to start slowly getting out of the house. I going to try and join and mom and baby walking group too. Fun times.

Any way I just wanted to up date and let you all know how wonderful he is and how totally in love I am with him. What a wonderful joy!!!

Guilt and other thing

Lets talk breast feeding today, so everyone and there dog knows breast is best but it does not work for everyone. Well I am one of those people that it just didn't work for, I put in a weeks worth of work trying and hoping they would work but they just didn't. One side wasn't pulling anything out and the other got so engorged that I thought I was going to die when I was trying to pump. That said I went to the doctor got antibiotics and hoped that the infection would go away, which it pretty well has. But now I have the most crazy guilt because I can not feed my child. It sucks! What makes this worse is that everyone else and there dog likes to rub in the fact that I am not doing and the man is not super helpful ether he is one of them who likes to rub it in more then any one. He seems to think I only tried for two days not quite thank you.

I don't know about all you out there but after have a nurse man handle my breasts, squishing and pulling them and shoving them in my kids face then pumping for 20 mins per side for the 4 days in the hospital then trying to pump at home is not trying then I don't know what the fuck is. I'm super sensitive about this topic because it makes me feel like shit! Like does everyone think I went into this going hahaha fuckers I'm not going to breast feed I just want to flush money down the drain paying to formula and not providing the best for my child. Really? errr!

Any way I could go on about that forever so moving on to the other things. Not only do I have guilt I also have a gas baby because of this stupidity! Poor little ninja!!!! He has so much gas and I don't know how to help him, we are presently trying Gripe Water. It seems to be helping a lot which is nice because he was so unhappy and uncomfortable. He has decided that between 11pm and 2am that he would like to be awake and fussy! Awesome! All he wants to do is suck, cry, suck, cry, lay there, look around, cry and suck some more. Its super frustrating because I don't understand why this is happening. I just would like him to be awake in the day time. I'm also trying to get him to sleep longer at night. Which is why I'm up right now. He started getting fussy in his bed but I'm trying to keep him sleeping and relaxed so that he will sleep for 4 hours at night rather then 3 which is really to benefit me and my man. We have a half hour before he makes it and I think its looking good.

What else? I now understand what tried really is! I have a greater apperciation for women who can breast feed and I feel like this past week has been the longest one ever. Also I am still hurt and sore and doing way to much to early but feel like I have to because other wise it seems that people think I'm lazy. Sorry did you just have a truck drive through your lady parts? No I don't think so why am I laying down? Cause it hurts! lord.

Any way enough bitching from me for one post. I am on the the positive the most proud mother of the world cutest little man, he is so wonderful and I am so in love with him.

One week old

Today my little ninja is one week old! I am feeling better but did a little bit to much this morning so need to rest a bit more. The baby has been having gas lately and its making him super fussy so I am trying to nip that in the bud here as to not have the poor little guy suffer.

What else? I'm tired and need more sleep but I don't think that will be happening any time soon, new baby and all. The man is going back to work tonight and that sucks balls I wish he could take a few more days until I'm feeling a bit closer to 100% better, cause going up and dow at night suck balls and I just would like for him to spend a bit more time with us.

I don't have to much else to say right now other then I am happy I am feeling better and I hope that next week I will feel up to going out with my new little man. Here's hoping. Oh well I need to have something to eat now but I will try to up date soon.

Baby makes three

Well folks I am offically a mom... how crazy is that? We got home today just after 1:00pm and my little bundle is seatteling in well. I had a boy, a 10lb 3oz baby boy. Nicholas Joesph welcome to the world and into my heart. I love you like crazy already. Part of me was really hoping for a girl but I am so happy he is here and he is perfect! He sleeps a lot right now but I know those times will come to an end in the future.

So here is how it all went down. On my due date November 17 we went to the hospital to be induced at 9:30am well it turns out that on that day everyone else and there dog wanted to have babies too so I didn't get officially induced until 12pm or so and then got moved over to popartum to wait to go into labour well now we waited and waited and waited and waited some more then on November 18 something started to happen... contractions. So these are the most painful freakin things in the whole world it feels like a menstrual cramp times a billion! So I was having lots of these super close together about every 2 mins which in a normal world is a lot of time but in labour world seems like nothing. They monitored babies heart and something seemed a bit off so they wanted to get us over to labour as soon as they could. I think we moved over there at 12:00pm November 19 but I was in so much pain that I didn't really know what the hell was going on. So we get over there and I am put on the bed and told an epidural was going to happen, at that point in time I was like woop to that make this stop! So I got one, so this was not totally natural but really you have no idea my uterus wouldn't stop contracting which is why I was in so much pain nothing let up.

Let me say this also Epidurals are the best freaken thing in the world because with out I wouldn't have made it through this they had to us forceps to get him out because he was so bit and I have a grade 3 (out of 4) level tear in my girl place! So yes amen to epidurals!!! Any way our little man made it into the world at 3:30pm with a whole lot of help from a wonderful doctor! Thank you to Dr. Edwards! Nicholas cord was rapped around his neck so he was having some heart dips well inside still. They had to give me a lot of stuff to make sure he could make it out with out a C section. Which I am totally grateful for because I can only dream of the amount of pain I would be in now if they would have done one.

Speaking of pain I am in a whole bunch of it between my tare and my body just being over working it is like I got hit by a truck twice! Plus I think I'm still having contractions little ones any way it seems like. It sucks and I don't think I'll feel much better for another week or so. Sucks!!! Any way we are happy to be home! Breast feeding is a whole other story for another time. Right now thats all I have to write.

And lastly I'm over joyed to be home!!!

D day

Tomorrow is the official due date and guess what, I'm still with child. However at 9:30am tomorrow I am going to the hospital to be induced. Thats right people my doctor is worried about what might happen and thinks its best to get me in and get things started. The doctor said that they might let me go home after the first set to the induction but she says she wouldn't let me go so be ready to stay. So thats what we are doing tonight... getting ready for hospital stay. Fun times.

I'm so nervous it is not even funny, I'm worried about how this will all go and how long it might take. But by the weekend we will have a new little person in this world and they will be happy and healthy, or lets hope for that! Also if all goes well I should be home by Thursday for sure, please hope for that!

My mom arrived safe and sound after a long time finally getting in at 1:30am and with how bad the roads are we didn't get back to the house until almost 3am! What a long night then only sleeping for 6 hours boo! I hope tonight I get better sleep then that because tonight might be the last of good longer then 5 hour sleeps that I might get for the next 3 months.

Any who thats all for now wish me luck on this and lets hope it all goes really well.

2 days

I'm due in 2 days and no the baby has not come yet! My mom is coming late tonight and I totally hope that I go into labour today. Which could be very possible or not who knows. So if you don't want to ready to much information stop reading now...

This morning was a little different because I woke up with a little bit of pain and the oddest sensation ever I went to the washroom because I had to pee like a mo-fo and there it was..the plug! What did I say "Wow so thats what that looks like... yuck...crazy...yuck" In the other room I hear the man "Are you ok?" yes I'm ok (laughing). Go back to bed and he asks whats so funny and I say well the plug definitely came out! He asks "How do you know?" I say "Umm well I saw it... and it was gross but that means the baby is for sure ready and coming soon."

Any way that is it and I'm hoping that my little ninja makes it way into this world before my mom gets here but I don't think that is going to happen. However I think within the next few days it will be here! I hope! I'm excited to meet my little friend and just want it to happen! Oh well need to eat some breakfast keep my energy level up. Happy Monday!

Still with Child

Well the baby is still in the house and I am really getting to the point where I wish they would come already so I can not be pregnant any more. Last night the Man took me to a craft fair that I got to every year. I thought I wouldn't be able to go this year but I got to! I was happy about that. This craft fair is an event its big, lots of tables, lots of people, singers, action and what not. I like to go to these things just to walk and look.

Well walking I started having contractions and thought to myself great story, so we are walking through the craft far and then my water brakes with people everywhere, the car was so far away and it all happened so fast. Lord thank goodness that didn't happen! Today there is another far that I like to go to just outside of the city. I'm not sure if I'm going to get the man out to this one because he is all about saying he is spending the day cleaning for my mom's arrival on Monday.

Speaking of my mother, lord she is funny I think she wants me to tell her to not come. Last night she called asking if I still need her or want her to come. What should I do not please don't bother its fine don't care about whats going on. I said to her that I was surprised she booked a whole week here because I think she will be here for two days and want to go home but other wise yes come. Then she says well what if its to soon and you don't have the baby. I say trust me I will have this thing before then! Or my doctor will take it out because I am so sore and done that I can't wait much longer. Any who I think its silly that she is trying to get out of coming. The mans parents are so excited to come and meet the little one and spend time with us its the total opposite!

Oh well I'm going to get ready for the day, a walk is in the future in hopes to move things along and I have to work on getting the man to go to the craft far today :)

5 days

So today I had another doctors appointment and I am feeling really done with all this and really would like the baby out, so I tell my doctor about all the crazy things happening and how much pain I'm in and she say ok lets check you out. We listen to the little ninja heart just a going like usual then she says we need to check your cervix...

Umm ok really? Do you have to I've heard bad things about this I'm not so sure I want you putting anything up there. So I get ready and sure enough this hurts just like everyone said it would like a sun of a bitch! I wanted to cry it hurt that much lord! I can't believe how much that hurt and how much this all is going to hurt! Any way so checking this and she says great 2 cm looking good... umm what does that mean? It means your body is getting ready to have this baby, awesome.

So I'm super excited about the baby getting here but the part before the baby gets here is totally scary! I'm really just ready, but I'm not sure how ready for all the pain that might come with this. Any who I'm hoping that by Monday the baby will be here but who knows at this point. My next appointment with the doctor is on the 16th the day before my due date. Fun times.

6 days

So since yesterday I have been having the oddest tingling sensation in my lower area's also in my upper tummy at the top of what I think is my uterus. I think that means that this little one is going to be here soon. I would say that it will come on time, tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and we are going to talk about the last ultrasound and all the crazy changes I have noticed lately. But the tingling I think is a tell sign of something starting! Woop

The man is at an interview today and should be home around 5pm. Ouch ok this little one is getting a little to strong it just kicked me and it hurt! Come out little baby!!! not before 5, but come out! Any way the mans interview is for a job in another city. I would really like to not be living in this city any more it stresses me out so much with all the traffic and rude people and man it just is getting to be a bit to much for me I'm to old for this :P

What else? I'm making stockings for the man and the baby, I have one more to put together then I just need to do the pictures on them but I have no idea what I want to put on them. I was thinking a cute little reindeer for the baby with a little tree on it. For the man I have no clue... mountains maybe the shadow of a special mountain or something? no clue yet

I have to go pick up some more colours of felt to do the reindeer tho. I want to finish them before baby gets here cause I don't think I will have the time to do it after. My mom said she booked her ticket here for a few days from now which is nice if she does come. It will be the most time I will have spent with my mom in years! I'm a little nervous about that because we are very different now and I wonder how it will be having her here and her seeing how much different I am. But it will be nice to connect with her if she does really show. My dad is not coming which kinda sucks but part of me wonders if he is really not supportive of this little one because we are not married. But I have no idea we don't talk.

oh well I'm going to head off.

Lord

So last night I thought for sure my little ninja was on the way, I was wrong. But man did I ever feel bad, all the sudden I got super hot and started feeling so sick and I thought that I was going to die. This morning I have had some cramping but nothing big happening. I really hope it comes soon I'm totally ready for this baby to be here!

Today is 9 days until due date and 3 days before I got to the doctor again to check on everything and talk about what we are going to do with my big little ninja.

Any who I just wanted to update to bitch because this all sucks ass.

13 days

As the due date gets closer I am getting more and more nervous about this! The baby is still getting bigger and measuring in the 9 lbs range now but they said they measure normally 10% higher then they are. So what does that mean? It means it could be smaller :) woop smaller would be good. Yesterday I thought that maybe the baby was coming cause things where moving odd and I was feeling crampy but nope nothing. Which is good cause the man is not back until tomorrow.

The thing about right now is there is so much going on that I want to do. There is this craft sale that I love to go to ever year and its this weekend. So I'm going to go on Friday as long as I feel up to it, course the man will come with me! Then he has an interview next week in a town about 3 or 4 hours away. Which should be ok but you never know. My next doctors appointment is the 11th so as long as I don't go into labour the baby is for sure not coming before then, when my doctor and I will talk more about c-section and if it might be the safer way to go. We will see how it all goes. Who knows I'm having a braxton hick as we speak so who knows what will happen.

I'm hungry and I think I should go snack on something well I feel it. Lately eating has been less then the top thing on my list yesterday I ate pretty well but the day before it was really bad! I'm trying to be better but its totally hard. Also I'm sick of having swollen hands! It sucks and I am so ready to have normal figure movement again.

Any way I'm off.