Whats New

Well not a whole lot is new really we've been travelling a lot and trying to clean up around the house cause my little man is starting to want to be on the move more. Its almost crawler ready but there are still some things we need before he gets more on the move like a big gate. Correction two big gates would be great one 7foot and on 80 inch. Do you think I will find that? haha not so lucky yet still looking might just have to make shift something.

I'm pretty cranky today but I'm so sore and stiff and just want to sleep and wake up feeling refreshed for once and I have a feeling thats not going to happen for a long long time. The little man is doing pretty great, he is still teething and waiting for teeth I hope they come soon so he can be a bit more comfortable. He likes to sleep on his tummy at night but then he wakes up and doesn't want to be on his tummy and gets upset but doesn't turn, so after about 15 mins of crying someone gets up turns him and back to bed it is. Its so exhausting! I wish he could just get back on track with sleep!

Hmm My dog is on a week stay with one of my friends and I think they might want to keep her which is kind of sad for me cause I would miss her but I think it would be a better living arrangement for her right now. We just can't give her the love she needs. But we will see we are going shopping on Friday and going to talk about how things went. I knew as soon as they took her for a few nights they would love her and want to keep her.

Well any way I should get going before my little lovely one gets up. He is so sleepy today, but he missed one of his naps so that might explan that. Any who thats it for now.

So sleepy

Well I am tired what a long trip, I am so glad to be home! My eye is all better and feel like I'm getting back on track now I just need to come to grips with the whole flying thing at the end of the coming week BARF. Not looking forward to that but it will be nice to see what the town is like. Who knows we might end up living there. Well that is if we don't end up spliting up. Thats a whole other story, I'm kind of at the end of my rope and I am done trying to make it work I would rather bring up my little man alone then be unhappy all the time and not feel loved. I'm not feeling loved at all right now I feel lonely and alone. Thankfully I have a wonderful little man that is my world!

Lord its going to be a hard few months! I can feel it. Any who my little man is amazing he is trying to crawl he can roll and roll and roll for miles and he can move around the house a little he likes to push himself but is trying to get up and move it will be no time before he is on the go and we are in real trouble! lol He is so amazing, its so great watching him grow and learn. woop.

Any way I should get going so I can get ready to go shopping.

ROAR

So last night The Man went to try and move the little man to his crib, way away from his body and the little man started moving and waking up and freaking out and instead of listening to me saying move him close to your body and cradle him he gives him back to me. Not nicely not nice just like here take the kid and in the process the little mans arm swings fast towards my face and his little finger goes right into my eye and moves across it so fast that I didn't know what happened right away. Then it starts to hurt, like you have no idea the pain an eye can give it just f'ing hurts but I think ok its just irritated you are fine cry it out and go to bed.

Well so much for that idea after tossing and turning for 2 hours because it hurts so much I call the health line and the nurse says you need to get to the hospital right away, I will call an ambulance to get you and I say no no I can get there. So I drive myself to the hospital not seeing so great but I get there in one piece. They numb my eye and tell me that I have a surface scratch across the bottom of my cornea. Awesome! So I get antibiotics and a wonderful needle for tetanus, F*** Awesome! Most shity thing he can`t give me any of the magic numbing stuff because it slows heal time, so I`m in pain, big pain most all day. My eye hurts and waters and then hurts more because the watering stings. I am so mad at the Man like I know he didn`t mean to get the little mans hand in my eye but have some care for your kid and the mother of your child. Don`t be so ruff and so bitchy about him almost waking up. Be kind and slow with him he is little. GOD I'm so pissed this hurts so much and to top it off I'm suppose to be driving to see his parents tomorrow. Its about a 7 hour drive if you don't stop for long. With a fucked up eye and poor vision that will only take longer. If I even go now because I'm not sure I should drive like this. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK STUPID! ERR

Thats all

6 month shots

Well today is my little mans 6 month shots and last time he was so NOT a happy camper after for the rest of the day. So last night he had a melt down we are not sure what happened but as soon as we went up to the bed room he was a happy camper again. Crazy. I'm sure today will not be much better poor little guy. Also my last post was about this crazy end of the world thing which I later found out was just a judgement day and for the next 5 months we will be tormented and then in October the world will end. Information which for some reason they left out because everyone understanding was that the end was coming. Well I guess they needed to change the story when nothing happened!

What else we are off to the in laws in two sleeps. I have a bunch of packing to do and need to do a few things to the car. Change the one of the lights check the oil and antifreeze and gas up at some point... then I think we are ready to go well and pack the car. Blah fun times. hmm what else? Not to much really I'm totally looking forward to shopping in the states in a few days! WOOH Thats it for now, till next time.

The End

So some crazy people say tonight is our last night on this earth and alive. You know the funny thing is I have not heard about this until just yesterday, I'm not sure how they kept it under wraps for some long. Like we all know about the coming 2012 that one has be talked about forever but this one is totally new to me. So the thing I kind of wonder if people in other countries get the end of the world message. Like Africa do you think they talk about it there? Or better yet in Italy, I kind of want to go away for the 2012 thing and just see what other people in some other country say. Just cause I think its kind of an American free monger thing. They just want to make people fear so that they can control the masses a little more.

Any way that said my little man is 6 months old he can sit he can roll back to tummy but not tummy to back yet boo! He blows his lips and now just started to stick his tongue out at the same time, totally cute. We are going to see his grandparents in wow 4 days! crazy I thought it was farther away, wow I have a lot to do before we have to go, lord! Any way I can start all that tomorrow. Any way I should run things to do.

I love spring and the on set of Summer

I forget how much I like to be outside in the winter and then its +20 for the last three days and it reminds me about enjoying the sun and loving going out. We have walked the past two days because I love to be out I wish we had a better deck or a yard that we could get out in and enjoy. Right now its the perfect time because there are few bugs and I hate bugs gross. Important but gross, speaking of important I kind of wonder where all the bugs... hmm odd.

My little man is doing well he is learning lots and growing up more and more. I am enjoying every moment I have with him I love watching him grow and learn I can't wait until he can talk and tell me all the wonderful things in his mind :) So exciting!!

He is now eating three meals a day, well our first day trying any way. Seems to have gone well today but he was not very hungry at dinner but I think thats to be expected. Plus he hates the lumpy texture. Any way little man needs me so go to run.

Crazy

So my little man went to check out a new doctor today which went alright but we also found out that he lost almost 4 lbs, in a week and a half! My poor sicky he was so ill he didn't eat well and well now we know that he lost a ton for someone his size. He also grew a bunch about an inch and a half! Nuts I thought he was getting skinner but I didn't think he had grown that much in high he is in the 97% for height and down to the 85% for weight which is a giant change for weight because he was in the 96% before, thats crazy!

He is still a little sick with a cough but other wise he is eating a lot better and hanging out having fun. We are looking forward to going west to spend some time with the grandparents! They are so excited for him to come they can't wait to introduce him to all there friends! So awesome, they are really great! Today was my first mothers day and I must say I was a little cranky all day due to that I have not been sleeping all that great lately but it was still great I always dreamed about being a mommy to someone and I'm a mommy to someone super special now. I never knew you could love someone so much, he just captures my heart every day and I love him more then anything. I'm the proudest momma ever!

He rolled back finally, but didn't really pay attention and now has forgotten again how to roll back onto his back. Silly boy! I hope he figures it out soon! Its raining here sometimes I miss the rain because we don't get a whole lot. Any way my little man has gotten on his tummy I'm going to go and try to get him to roll back on his own. Till next time.

Update

well I thought I would change up my blog a bit to give it a bit of a new zing. Whats new? Well my little man still has a cough and isn't feeling all that peachy yet but he is getting better. We are going to the grandparents at the end of the month and they are looking forward to the visit. We are also going to be going into the states, which I am pretty excited about!

My little man will be 6 months on the 19th can you believe it half a year has pasted already and I am closer to having to leave him with someone else, something I am not looking forward to! Any way I'm totally getting sleepy... tomorrow we will go for a walk try and get my hip feeling better. Its been bugging me big time the last few days. I need to find a pool noodle as well tomorrow.

Ahhh I should really get to bed or at lest go check on my little man make sure he is ok, he has been trying to roll over in his sleep and since he is just learning how to roll back it concerns me a little. Any way night night all

Rock your Right to vote!

So tomorrow we in Canada go to the polls to vote who will run our country, and although Mr.Harper has been doing an alright job or what you see is alright he was tossed for a reason. A few of which where some of the lovely new parts of laws he was trying to pass in the federal budget. For example changing the law for people who have to pass environment regulations making it so not ever business would have to have their equipment checked to pass. Only certain things and companies and you would have to have ever piece checked but only part. Well great we are doing a bang up job at killing our planet why not omit companies from passing laws. Thanks Mr Harper for that.

I'm sure you have all heard that the USA super villain is dead, Osama bin laden and that people are rejoicing in the streets. woo I think this was a smart movie by Obama to get another term in house. But who knows. I think its funny how so many people think this person was so evil but over 66 years ago a really bad man died. A man who single handed almost took the world... Hitler. I thought it was may 1 but I was wrong it was April 30 so close any way I think its crazy that people forget what a real bad person is and what they are able to do. Just my opinion.

Any way I have a very upset little man I think he has reflux... that would explain why I had a happy baby and now have an angry little person in the evenings he is just so up set. So what leads me to believe it is reflux is that he was trying to spit up all night it seems like thats all he wanted to do was just spit up and then he started arching his back like crazy so I googled this and it said reflux and then describe other things that might be going on with it and well he gets a check mark by everything. My poor little man I think it might be the rice cereal doing so we are going to cut out that and see if it makes an improvement, we are also going to have plan yogurt twice a day and see if we can get this better fast cause he is so unhappy it is not even funny.

Any way I'm totally exhausted so I need to hit the hay. Night world.

Road to Recovery

Well everyone in my house is starting to feel better which is great the little man is having a nap right now and is breathing through his nose!! Woop I feel better and the Man feels better. So scary news the Man finds out tomorrow if he is going to be laid off for how long who knows but that will kind suck for him. As well as for us cause of all the whole money tight thing. The little man is trying to sit on his own its pretty cute he gets up right and is all proud of himself then tips over and gets this confused look on his face too cute :)

I applied for a job yesterday it would be a great job and I would really like it a lot it kind of combines my world of policy and procedures and social work which I think would be ideal I would still work on implementing change and get to counsellor again! There is another one that I am really interested in and might apply for today. I`m not ready at all to go back to work because I love spending time with my little man but these kinds of jobs do not come up often and some time at all so I am going to risk it and see what happens. I miss work alot some times but I would miss the little man more! We will see. I might start looking to build a home business with little ones and music therapy. Something I love a lot and it seems to be something people really enjoy doing. Plus I could charge a fraction of the cost that some of the other places do and give them better services. But we will see.

What else, well the weather is suppose to go from sunny and lovely to rain and possible snow! LORD I say no more snow its almost May. I got my passport application in woop! I should be on my way out of the country in a month! I have a few sight seeing things I would like to do. Any way the little man is being super needy right now so I should go.

Gah!

So I am still totally sick only now I can't breath and I have the hack of a cough which feels like my lungs are going to come out with it. You this is the first time I've been sick since being with child and it sucks! Also its the first time I have had a cough like this and not been a smoker. I remember when I smoked I would get this wicked cough that felt like I was going to die from it and it was just gross but that was because I was a smoker. This cough well it is a little like that only it hurts way more. I don't remember what coughs where like before I smoked it was so long ago but I don't recall them like this. Lord! I sound like I smoke, gross.

Which buy the way lets write about I have been a non smoker for over a year now! Go me go! I must say there are times where I still get cravings how crazy is that? But then I smell someone who is a smoker and I remember all the money I wasted and I think now that would be stupid to start again. Plus I have a family that I need to be here for. Its bad enough that I might have cervical cancer I don't need anything else thank you (we will get the cancer part in a moment). I smoked for 11 years! Lord what a long time to damage your body! Things I miss: controlling my craving for food, weight loss, the social factor but thats going out of style, being ID'ed now I know thats silly but I don't really drink so I don't really get ID'ed any more. I think thats about it though.

okay the big C word... so about two years ago I was told I had an abnormal pap, ok what does that mean? Well it means its not normal and rather then waiting a year to have one you have to do it in 6 months. Okay why? no one can really tell you, it could mean a lot of things... great so 6 months later I get one and the doctor fails to call and tell me its abnormal again and 3 months later I am with child so they leave it alone and say after the baby comes we will do it again. So at my 6 week check up I ask to have it done they recommend waiting... ok why well because it might read wrong so wait another month then guess what abnormal again so they set me up with an appointment for a Colposcopy which is not until JULY. bah fun times so I might have cancer and it might be getting worse and they could do something about but not until July. Thanks medical system you can kiss my ass, that said July is closer now then it was when they told me about the appointment. Any way that is that and I hope that it is just something small not the big C I really would like to have another baby some day.

What else well I'm still sick haha I really would like to feel better. I think my whole family would like to feel better as we are all sick boo! Any way thats all for now I'm going to try and rest before they all get up!

Our First cold

Well my little man is 5 months old and my whole house is sick. It started with me feeling the worst and slowly lead to him getting sicker and sicker. Last night was just bad he was to hot and coughing and so sick it was just not any fun at all plus with me feeling sick it makes it ten times worse cause I need to rest and feel better but I can't unless he is. He is sleeping now which is good cause he needs all the rest he can get right now to feel better. I hope this doesn't last to long.

I wish I could breath, this sucks. I hate being sick. It sounds like he can breath a bit better. That's good! Any way I'm going to go and try and eat well he is down.

I need a vacation!

So I am just really done and totally need a break. Between the baby and the Man I think i just am about ready to go nuts! I'm applying for a passport and I think I'm going to try and save some funds to go over seas for a few days. There are a few things I want to see. I'm working on getting mine first and then will get the little mans so that we can go somewhere together as well.

My back is still bad, its been really bad in the last few nights. So I did some research and this is really common for women who had an epidural during labour. You can have back pain and muscle spasms for month or years after it depends on the person. Awesome. So it looks like I have to live with this for a while. Its exhausting! Yet another reason I would like to have a vacation so I can rest like really rest.

Hmm what else? The Mans parents where here for a day and a half and spoiled the little man! They are so great to him. Sometimes tho I wish they wouldn't move my stuff. Like this is not your house please don't mess with my stuff. That really upsets me! But I'm back to normal life now which is nice. We got a red wagon for the little man we don't have the place to store it so they took it with them back home. Any way the boys are napping and I think I need to lay down. Will up date soon!

Night time tears

So I had this bed time thing down to a great regular thing he would go in his crib and fuss just a little but then fall a sleep. So I think in my side switch that the Man must have been giving him the soother because tonight he is freaken out. As we speak he is so mad crying like crazy, he hasn`t done this in a month and all the sudden he is crying. I think the Man must have been giving him something because this is the worst it has been in a while. I do not want to let him think this is ok so I am trying very hard to let him cry. But I can hear him from here freaking out. This sucks! He is a super cry baby lately every time I leave the room right now he freaks. Sucks!
ok totally freak out got to go check on him.

Gosh that was bad he was so upset that his body was so hot it was wet. I have only ever had that twice before, first time he was in the car and so hungry he was freaking out and all I could do was drive to get home to feed him. Second was on the way home, he wasn`t that bad but it was close. That is the worse so I did the one thing you are no suppose to do, I picked him up and rocked him to sleep. I snuggled him and kissed him and told him it was ok. If it wasn`t as bad I wouldn`t have done that but this was totally bad he was having a melt down!

Any way today with the little girl was good, she didn`t really freak out at all. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a whole different story but we will see. Here is hoping it goes as well as it did today. There where a few things that totally concerned me and if that doesn`t improve over time it is to much of a risk factor for my son. Like she doesn`t really get that she could hurt him or that he is so small and just wants to see who she is. She almost hit him, that would have been bad cause I more then likely would have told her mom that it wasn`t going to work out. She also does get that he needs play space too and thinks things are funny and a joke. Like he was on his play mat and she just walked up almost over him and just wasn`t regarding him at all. That scared me. So we will see how tomorrow goes, I think with time it would get better but I`m not sure I want to put him in that situation. We will see.

What else? Well the in-laws will be here on Sunday. Woop! That means mommy gets a break! Thank the kind lord! I have been going a bit nutty lately and feeling like I need a vacation so this will be a good break. I need to go get my pastport photo at some point on Saturday. I want to go to the states with the Mans mom in June. I think my little man and I will go out there, cause his dad is planning on going across Canada. I totally encourage this but I think he could have better timing! Like oh I don't know before he had a kid? I really hate sometimes how his life hasn't really changed at all he still does whatever he wants, thinks for himself and seems to forget he has a family now but whatever I guess. I just want a hand well he is gone. Maybe my sister could come here HINT HINT.

I was looking for work for the Man in the east today. I was thinking about it and I'm not so sure any more why I'm so sent on going back west. Really my parents could give two shits about me or my life and I hardly see my sister and I never see my brother so why go west? Why not embark on a new journey in life? Why not? I couldn't really find anything but I think I'm going to talk to him about. I love the east, its so beautiful there and the Ocean and the people and I think it would be great. Plus I think his parents would like to go back and maybe retire there and I want them to be close to the little man, they are so good to him I want to make sure they are in his life as much as possible!

Any way I should get going its getting late. Not that I think I will be able to sleep but I might as well try. Night all.

Well it was a little better

So last night I slept on my old bed which had been sitting out on our deck for the last 7 months. I didn't wake up at 2 am, or 3 or even 4 I slept through the night! I'm up way to early but I'm not really all that sleepy right now for some reason maybe its because its the first time in WEEKS that I have slept from 10pm until 6am. Freaken awesome. The bad news my back totally woke me up at 6 and I had to really pee lol but I think my back was part of it. The great news I feel refreshed! Amazing, although I am beginning to get a bit sleepy again just now. Maybe I'll have a nap on the sofa.

It snowed here. Like really snowed 15cm, its April 14, Snow? Blah! Today I have a little girl coming over to hang out with us her mom is having a hard time finding child care so I thought why not give it a try. And she will be here at 12 until 3:15 she is at the don't leave me stage which is never fun and I'm not totally happy about the amount of crying that might happen but we will get through it and I have a feeling Friday will be worse because she will be awake for a lot of it! lol but I have TV and all kinds of things we can do maybe if Nicholas goes to sleep we will make cookies. We will see. I am a little scared to see what life will be like with a toddler and a baby but bring it on!

Any way I'm going to try and sleep another hour I think.

Alomst 3 am

You know I thought when I had a baby that the only reason I would wake up in the middle of the night was because someone was hungry well I have been mistaken. For the past oh lets see maybe 3 or 4 weeks I have gotten up consistantly at 2am, why because of my body in pain. Not because of my little man he sleeps oh 10 hours on average a night. So tonight I have had the most stupid time sleeping first the Man snored and snored and I tossed and turned, then my neck started hurting, then my back and my ribs so now I'm totally awake at 3am and can't freaken sleep. Wonderful. SUCKS why because I have a lovely sleeping little man well that means he is awake most of the day and even tho the Man has the day off tomorrow I still take care of the little man the most. So I have to do it on little sleep and the sleep that I did get Sucked balls!

On a high note we went swimming again which he loved again, then when the Man got off work we went to the park for another swing, oh he had his first swing (loved it, laughed like crazy the whole time). The dog got to come with us and go for a run, I'm sure she was pretty happy. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend in the park to go for a walk, not a long one cause I'm pretty bent out of shape but a walk, then to mommy and me and then I am going to work on my demo of the bathroom tiles and then chiro woop fun times had by all.

Thats right I decided that I hated our bathroom counter top and tiles so I talked to the Man asked him a number of times if he was ok with me taking it out and replacing it. Totally an easy job, unless you have a little person that requires all your attention then much harder! So I've almost got all the tiles out, but my biggest problem, ok there are two, my two biggest problems. One the jackass who owned this place was NOT handy and all and he instulled the present fixtures so they where put on piss poor which is distoring the drywall so not only do I have to demo now but I have to retouch the drywall and hope that it takes, run times. Problem two we don't have a new countertop yet, I think we should just pick on up at home depot or whatever and the Man thinks we should order one custom. There is a 100 - 150 dollar diferance in ordering one custom and it will take 3 weeks to get here. I would like to finish this job before his parents get here (This sunday). Which will not happen if we do that. But is totally possible if I take tomorrow to finish the demo, fix the drywall and then on Wend instull the new top and put nice pretty new tile back on the wall. Totally doable. But in the land that my lovely Man lives in things take for fucking ever! So I think I'm going to make him come pick out on at home depot so I can finsh the job and have a totally functional bathroom agian.

Any way I think I might be getting sleepy so I'm going to try to sleep on the sofa. Wish me luck, god I hate how shitty my body feels!

Its Alive!!!!!!

So I posted a while back about my poor Bula kicking the bucket well it turns out that my lovely Man just hit something he shouldn't have. I decided to download a owners manual just because I was wondering what the problem might be because she was running fine the other week.

So quick back story... the car died just after they were working on replacing the lights in the back of the car.

So I'm reading the manual and for some reason am about to give up when I come across this thing about a switch for the fuel pump, which is located in the trunk right by the lights that they fixed... hmmm gets me thinking what if they hit this and it turned the pump off. So this morning I go to look at it, push the button and try to start the car, and guess what? It starts!!! HAHAHAHAH

I come in and say "I fixed the car, you turned the fuel pump off" and he was all like yeah right so I showed him the thing I read and then then said go start it. But he said he believed me. I knew Bula was to strong to give up just like that. Wooop to a working car! We are still going to try and find a new car for the family but it isn't such a rush!

First food

So my little man totally slowed down on his eating for the last three weeks he was eating about 5 bottles a day which I thought was great but over the past four days he has been eating more and more again and yesterday 8 bottles. Which in my thought was way to much for a 4 and a half month old! So The Nurse at the health center said as long as he was happy with the 5 bottles and still sleeping his normal amount at night (which by the way is 10 hours a night with out waking up) that he is fine. So When he sky rocked in his bottles it made me think, plus he has been super interested in food with us he always watches us eat and opens his month and stuff so I thought ok he is trying to tell me something. I`m ready!

So I made 5 table spoons of rice cereal and I think he ate almost 3/4 of the amount and 50ml of milk, which I think is pretty good. If for some reason he is hungry again in like an hour I might wonder what the hell is wrong with him but if he goes for a bit that will be the answer he was totally ready for food. So I have no idea what I am doing really when it comes to food but we will do the cereal for three days and see how his little body handles it and then I was thinking of letting him try some home made baby food. Chicken, and then some veggies :) I'm excited for him! I think he will really like this! He did so great with eating at first he was like what the heck are you putting in my month... but then as soon as he got it, it was like he had always been eating. Just like the rolling thing once he got it twice now he does it all the time and loves that he can move.

My baby is growing up :) By the way have I told you lately how much I love him! You never really get it until you have one but it is a whole other world with him and he is the love of my life, he is just so sweet and cute and thinks I`m the funnest person ever (which is great) and I just love him so much. I am so excited to watch him learn and grow and become the amazing little person I know he will be. So great. I think I would have a whole team of children if I could just because I think this is one of the most rewarding parts of my life! Thank you to the Man for helping me make such a wonderful little man best thing ever!

OOOOO I have a rolling baby

So he did it backwards but that doesn't matter he did it! He rolled from front to back!!! today three time. Woop my little learner. I'm such a proud mother!

April 2nd and SNOW

Okay so I'm not sure who ordered the weather but man this has been the longest winter ever! The little man is sleeping and I could use a nap as well because I am not sleeping well these days. My body is just in so much pain most of the time that I just toss and turn all the time and can't seem to sleep through the night.

The Man's mom will be here tomorrow she was meant to go on a flight today but it was cancelled and will be in tomorrow for a night, have some time with the grandbaby and the off the following day. But then in 2 weeks they will be back to spend some more time with the little man.

We are starting some more classes this coming week on Tuesday I hope this time we get to finish them and I can meet some new people with little lovely ones also. But who knows if I will have a car in time. The man wants to hold off for a little while on buying something... but we are going to look at a suv I saw the other day and totally fell in love with! I have to call them and see if we can go look at it again today although with all the snow I don't really want to drive all the way out there.

Any way the little man is just waking up so I should get going.